There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts,
but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
This issue of the tongue is something I’m working on in my life. Common sense tells us we should use nice words. Our mothers told us, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” But somehow we learn to neglect the power of our tongues anyway. We set rules for ourselves like “don’t call someone stupid,” “don’t yell at people,” or “don’t use traditional curse words.” I even go so far as to avoid using mock curse words, words which I think our culture has put in the place of harsh profane language in order to “safely” use these culturally popular words. Some examples are frickin’ and freakin’. Those just happen to be a couple of my biggest pet peeves.
But while I’m concentrating on not saying the wrong word, my heart just might be slipping somewhere else. Oh, how easy it is to lose sight of how my words make someone else feel. This is true when I’m upset or angry, but it can just as easily happen when I think I’m being hilariously funny, entertaining, clever, and witty. Sure, I may be having a great time with my antics, but my fun should not come at the expense of the pain of others. If I’m not attentive to my heart and speech patterns, I can easily become hardened to this painful wrong I commit against others. This is not a pattern I wish to be prevalent in my life.
Patterns in a person’s life reveal their true heart and motives. This is true for me, and this is true for you. We will all reveal our innermost selves at some point to someone, especially if we come across someone we don’t easily mesh with but even still with those we love deeply. I am appreciative and fond of the ESV study note on this verse: “Some people’s normal speech pattern is constantly to accuse, belittle, manipulate, mock, insult, or condemn, and their rash words hurt other people and feel like sword thrusts. This is opposite of the way of wisdom taught in Proverbs, for the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
This verse, this explanation of it, and the wise words and gentle rebuke of a godly friend have given me a lot to think about concerning these patterns in my own life. I hope they will bring you to consider and think on your own patterns, as well. As for me, I would rather put down my deadly weapon and use my mouth for healing and soothing instead of drawing blood when I speak to someone.
Lord, make my heart and motives pure. Make me love others just as you do.
